Thursday, 16 December 2010

Sometimes late at night
While runnin' from the rain
Running from the voices
Filling up my brain
Now I wish they'd leave me alone
And let me be
To go off on my own
Let me be to go home
I feel like going home

Tuesday, 14 December 2010

When we're dancing, bones get broken, when we're dancing, hearts get broken

What a brilliant few days.
Despite a week of relinquishing any slight social life in favour of sitting in my oversize man shirts knee deep in fevered scribblings and scraps of highlighted paper and really old books and limitless cups of coffee in attempts to tame Shelley, Arnold and Bronte and coerce my tired brain and fingers into producing a semi decent essay, this extended weekend made up for it all in one fell swoop.

After a painful and awkward incident in the middle of the week, I was really counting on this weekend to make everything okay in my world.
Luckily, it delivered.
Saturday was a flurry of being around wonderfully talented musicians and amazing old friends. Playing music to an audience for the first time in an age, with my lucky shoes and gorgeous wine coloured cardigan gave me the rush of adrenaline and happiness I think I hadn't realised I needed. After three other amazing sets from bands with alarming amounts of talent, we were out til four dancing to 70s soul and disco classics before walking through a beautiful city in the cold, crisp air.
(Also, seeing Mills lifting his head off his pizza box to sing us some Rihanna was one of the most beautiful moments of my tender young life. I'm still wondering if I've ever seen anything so funny.)
Then I had one of the most perfect evenings for a long time. After a rude awakening, acquiring a cat called Mo and a chip buttie (buttie? butty? Hell knows) we walked hand in hand through the Christmas market, with a large creamy hot chocolate to a cute faux-Asian cocktail bar to reminisce about Um Bongo and laugh til we were hurting.
Last night was just a wonderful mess. Brilliant people (by brilliant I mean both talented and lovely), kitschy bars, heartfelt confusion and whisky shots.

But now I'm wondering if it's been brought on or augmented and twisted by the melancholy beats of Tellison's EP, but I'm re-reading Matthew Arnold's 'The Voice' and remembering the whole thing, and the first time I read it feeling a little lost and looking out over city lights and I can't remember reading a sadder poem in all my life.

I lay down next to other peoples lines, and hoped that I was right. Oh, collar bone, you put punctuation marks on all my clothes.

Saturday, 11 December 2010

From now on, whenever I'm sitting, daydreaming, in a lecture on the importance of Woolf in the modernist 'movement', daydreaming about adventures in Paris or Vienna, talking about architecture or philosophy, sipping cocktails in a jazz club...(You know the kind of French B Movie fantasy I'm talking about)
Just know that in all of them, from now on - I'll be wearing this dress.

Monday, 6 December 2010

Oh, ummmm, hi Blogger.
It's, uhh, it's uhhhh, me. Look, I'm so sorry about temporarily abandoning you for tumblr.
But the server's down okay? It didn't love me like you did.
Did you miss me? I missed you. Really, I did.

Life's really changed since I lasted posted on here. It's actually quite a funny reminder looking back. Since the 13th March 2010 I've travelled the world, or at least an amazing slice of it. And I've started university in Birmingham, a city I'm growing to love more and more the quicker time slips away. Those are the two crucial landmarks of the last eight months. There are thousands and thousands of tiny little moments in between I'd love to savour forever: that idyllic cove in Spain, cider and sunsets at Reading '10, tea and scones at Alicia's, the most beautiful setting for a kiss since Paris, never quite managing to tan, the sunny day on the coast I love the most, and then the people I love who flood into almost every memory.
Oh! And I cut my hair.
And now, almost before I can blink, the lake is frozen over and I'm wrestling with my mustard yellow jacket every morning. And it starts to smell like Christmas.
Can you believe it?