Sunday, 17 January 2010

I feel it in the deepest caves of my heart

I'm in such a creative dry spell right now.
Like, I'm so frustrated that what I originally took this year off to do has made so little progress in the past few months. I admit that so much of this is my fault, it's essentially because I am so swamped and working such insane hours at the moment because I lost so much money in the unexpected Arctic weeks. And that instead of spending days off hauled over the piano surrounded by notebooks and scraps of paper, I'm greedily clutching onto any hours I have left before he leaves.
He's getting on the train tomorrow and I'm not sure I can bare it. It sucks beyond any measure that this just doesn't seem to be getting any easier; it's heart wrenching every single fucking time. Whilst it's wonderful that after a year and a bit we still care this much, it sometimes feels a little bleak to think we've got another three and a bit to go before it'll change.
Listening to so much Minus the Bear right now, it's insane. But coupled with some Frightened Rabbit (massive animal theme apparently), Tegan&Sara, Slow Club and Emily Haines and the Soft Skeleton trying to force myself out of this.
I've had a pretty wonderful week, though. Drove up to Sevenoaks after work on Wednesday (making, of course, the necessary pitstop at the twenty four hour Shell garage to get cheap versions of chipsticks and some juice for the journey) and then 'assisted' Greg to blitz biscuits, and make a curry so hot i could only eat it in tiny amounts washed down with about a litre of water and school me in the American pie films. I essentially lived at his house for the til Friday night only making trips out to pick up food and work.
Then today me and my mum hopped on a train and ended up in Vauxhall at an hour only acceptable for rock and roll to record vocals on an anti-war song soon to be put out by Tiger Music. After we'd finished, there was red wine and a walk along the South bank, in the most perfect clear day since the start of the new decade.
And tonight, it's the killer Wallander/rose wine combo, so I guess I can't complain.

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